Hello there :)
This isn't what I'm mean to be doing ... I should be asleep because I've just got back from a lovely holiday in Ireland and I'm exhausted but If I am going to write a blog post I should definitely be catching up on the " Smiley Sunday " posts that I have missed whilst being away ( I've got two to write :/ ) However, I have just come over very very emotional ... I'm crying . I'm not sad though, or upset just emotional :') So why ? Why am I sat in my room crying slightly confused if not slightly happy .. ? Well the answer is that I don't know but as I'm feeling emotional, there are a lot of thoughts in my head , thoughts I want people to hear because they matter to me .. and I feel like they need hearing ( wow I'm REALLY tired aha ... I mean just look at that excellent wording ;) )
Firstly I thought I'd explain how I ended up feeling this randomly emotional ... okay well, as I've said I came back from a holiday in Ireland a few hours ago and whilst in Ireland I missed people an awful lot, esspecially my friends and boyfriend because I like being surrounded by people who understand all the aspects of my life, know how I'm feeling and how to make me feel better and good about myself .. that's what friendship is and I often refer to my friends as my un-biological family because they are everything to me .. I mean my best friend practically lives with me half the time aha :) I wouldn't change any of them for the world <3 So I had a build up of love for my friends whilst I was gone from realising how much I loved and respected them :) Love is a very strong emotion and I feel it an awful lot and often get it mixed up with compassion that I feel for strangers and this is definitely not going where I planned ... I'm sorry I think this is just going to be a vent tonight but If you understand or take anything from it then let me know but I'm very tired so sorry about this aha :) Anyways, I love strangers or I'm filled with compassion for them , this is something I find difficult to distinguish between because the compassion I feel for strangers is so strong . In my head I see a person, a human life that is precious and amazing walking down the street. I don't know this person but that's the beauty of it because I want them to know the things in my head because I don't know what that stranger is going through , I don't know if they are the happiest person on earth ( in which case I want to join them and show them that they are right to be happy and almost congratulate them on their wonderful perception of the world ) or they might be suicidal ( In which case I want to help them, show them some kindness just to let them know that the world does have some good in ) . Regardless of the persons situation, they do not know my and likely never will , the only judgement they could have on me is by looking at me and I can't do much with that rather than where a top that says " hi, I love you and I hope you're having a wonderful day but If not I hope it gets better " and as a top like that would be quite difficult to come by .. I decided to smile at every stranger I make eye contact with to let them know that I'm happy and want them to be happy, so there is still something good in the world <3 It's also because of this that I write hopeful notes to strangers to say the things I would say to them if it was socially acceptable to go up to them in the street , I want the world to be a better, happy place and I want people to know that it isn't that bad no matter what they're going through, It is definitely worth living in :)
This really isn't what I was going to talk about but I guess the reason I'm suddenly feeling even more attached to strangers is that in Ireland something AMAZING happened ! When I smiled at people... THEY SMILED BACK :D It actually makes my day every time someone smiles back because people smiling just makes the world a nicer place because every time you smile you actually feel better because it realises " Feel good" endorphins so now because of one simple action I made towards a person walking down the street, the worlds a very slightly happier place ... okay I do realise I sound made but I just feel so ... I don't know really . To be honest I wan't crying until I watched my idol, Carrie Hope Fletchers, most recent video ( I'll link to it here <3 ) I don't know what it was about the video but she was talking about people thanking her . As a result I realised how much Carrie has effected my life. Since I started watching "Itswaypastmybedtime" I've become more positive, learnt to see the world in a different way, started to try and show others this way of seeing and started leaving hopeful notes because Carrie's hopeful notes inspired me to start being confident enough to show kindness to strangers and my life would still be stuck in sadness and thoughts that I would just grow up and work in a job that could pay the bills but now I believe in myself and that's not arrogant . Self belief is important and I'm going to have to write a whole post about that but Carrie pressed that button and I am so grateful to her <3
I Have no idea what I have just written .. I'm sorry if my rambling was pointless , I'm aware the grammar was awful and the punctuation that is pretty much non existent but I'm so tired <3 Please let me know if you understood any of that .. I'm sorry If I just wasted your time , we'll be back to normal soon :)
Stay Strong <3 Stay Smiley :)
I hope you're having a good holiday / life because you deserve one and I like you :)
Much love, Love Much-ly
DontBurstMyBubbleXx
P.s. Today's quote is : " Keep Smiling and Stuff" - Dan Howell ( Danisnotonfire ) because it sounds as vauge, confused and relevant as I feel :) That sentence didn't even make sense aha ... I'm going to go to bed <3
Helloo :)
It's 23:16 on a school night and I've got Tom Laws song " I've Never Met You" stuck in my head ... to be honest I can think of worse songs to be stuck with ... oh look a good thing already :) I guess how many good things you see in the world doesn't solely depend on circumstance also depends on how many angles you look at it from and how close you look <3
I'm feeling sleepy because I've already posted once tonight ... maybe one day I'll learn to stay on top of my blog aha , probably not today though ;) Today has in some way's been hard because I really missed my boyfriend who I hadn't seen for a week ( I know some people don't see their boyfriends for months but I just really couldn't handle that because I like cuddles :) ) However I knew I was seeing him tonight so it wasn't that bad :) Lot's of good things happened today though which makes it a lot easier to pretend the bad things aren't there because I recently decided that if I didn't really need to be sad about the bad things and I couldn't do anything about it then I might as well try my best to move on, have a fresh start and be happy because well I like being happy and life is to short to spend every minute being sad .. that's not the sort of life I want so I changed it :) I thought I would make a list of the good things that happened today, I like lists and If anyone happens to know where I can get a good list book with lines and tick boxes please comment because I just can't find one anywhere ... I know right modern teenage problems eh ;)
1) I finished my science coursework after four weeks of hard work and one hour of sleeping in class ( luckily the teacher was very nice about it ;) ) I love the feeling of finishing things and knowing I've done it, it's out the way and nobody can take that away from me now :) If you're struggling with course work or exam revision or any long running projects and lacking motivation just try to remember
a) why you started
b) how good you're going to feel when it's done.. and trust me on this , it's a pretty damn good feeling :)
linking to this, today's quote is going to be :
" The moment you think of giving up, remember the reason you held on so long "
2) When I finished my coursework I had another hour left on it so I decided to draw a picture of me and my boyfriend , it's not quite done but I'm pretty proud of it :) despite my best friend telling me that both of the people in the drawing look like girls aha ;) I see her point to be fair <3 I decided to only colour in the eyes of the picture because I really love the way everyones eye's are a slightly different colour and they make us all unique and I'm sure you are a wonderful human being and no one else is quite as wonderful in the same way as you so why not embrace that? If you don't think you're a wonderful human being well I disagree with you but why don't you think that ? More importantly what do you think you can do to make yourself feeling like you are ? :) You're amazing even if you can't quite see it yet <3
3) I left a comment on one of my favourite male YouTuber's videos Tom Laywood ( Tomisnotawesome)
leaving a link to my blog and saying basically if he had time would he have a look at it because I know Tom is very much into the whole staying happy thing and I try to make this blog as positive as possible :) I in no way expected a reply or for him to even acknowledge my comment because I know he's very busy running both his YouTube account and he's own clothing brand which is awesome and you can check out Stay Strong Clothing by clicking here :). Tom Laywood surprised me though and made my day by replying to my comment saying "I am going to check it out now and add it to my favorites so I can check back with it everyday! <3" I couldn't be happier and more grateful so thank you Tom :) All of his videos are cheerful and inspirational he did a project with the NHS to support teenagers who were struggling which was fantastic. Please have a look at his YouTube channel , I know you'll love him as much as I do :)
4) I finally saw my boyfriend after a very long week :) We watched YouTube videos and he lent me my favourite of his hoodie's. I like it because it's warm and snugly ... and at least people won't be asking me about iron maiden anymore ;) I seriously had people coming u to me and telling me they like me music taste and it's incredibly awkward explaining that you actually have never listened to the band who's merch you forgot you we're wearing and that it's not even yours aha :) So now I'm very happily cuddled up in bed looking forward to watching Peter Pan next time I see him ... because mentally I am three years old ;) He also showed me a quote I really liked from a band that he really likes ( Our music taste is very different ;) )
5) Slightly less important but It made me happy regardless :) I found a really cool necklace I liked on Etsy ( I have a massive obsession with this website aha <3 I just thought i'd show you the necklace because it's cool and it's existence made me happy .. so it might make you happy and I really want you to be happy :)
I hope you have also had a good day or at least found something good in your bad day ... even if you had to look really close from a really awkward angle <3
Stay Strong <3 Stay Smiley :)
Try listing the good things in your day set a target to get to at least five each day no matter what .
Much Love, Love Much-ly
DontBurstMyBubble xxx
